Monday, October 10, 2011

Tennessee Department Of Childrens Services Failed To Protect My Child

   I have a true story for you that will make you wonder about the hiring process and purpose of child protection agencies.    My son was born June 17th, 2007. He was dodging bullets for the first six months of his life, while still in the womb. His mother is a drug addict, addicted to narcotic pain pills. For the first six months of his pr-natal life though, his mother was even on meth and coke. Pretty much anything she could get her hands on. She left our home pregnant to chase a buzz and be with strange men with my poor son in her belly! I rarely seen her for four months, until the day she came to my residence[formerly ours] and informed me she had tried to have an abortion.Fortunately, for my son and myself, she was to far along, and the "doctor" wouldn't perform the procedure. How a monster can be so merciful, I know not. Regardless, I immediately started to gather my belongings to move in with her at her mothers house.     All bullets dodged successfully, my son was born healthy. I was in love the first time I seen him. Actually, from the moment I discovered she was baring child I was in love with him. I gained 20 lbs. the last three months of her pregnancy, the same as she, and was sick in the morning more than she was. From the moment she came to me and said she had no choice but to let him live, I dedicated all my life and love to my son. I was involved in every aspect of his life every day of his life. He is everything to me!    A month after he was born we moved to my home state, Tennessee. The reason behind the move was to get her away from the cheap, easily attainable drugs of Florida, and also all the unsavory characters she had become accustomed to dealing with. This was successful for only a short while. Within weeks she had began using again. The cycle had been renewed. By the time he had turned one, she was binging again. Endlessly under the influence or sick from not having any and looking for more. The medical bills came pouring in from her frequent trips to the emergency rooms to obtain narcotics. Needless to say, our relationship suffered greatly. I kept my head up and did the right things though. I knew what was important, and that was my little boy. On my sons first birthday, I resigned my position at a restaurant. Daycare was not an option for me because my son could not talk yet, and also it was so expensive! Half of my check would have went to it! I knew that I was much more interested in my sons welfare and development than a stranger anyway, even if they were professionals. I also just plain did not trust her with him alone. I did not want him subjected to strangers with questionable motives. I did not want him out at night or stuck in his car seat for long periods of time while his mother drove from place to place looking for prescription drugs. I had to know he was safe at all times, and in an environment conducive to child growth. So I became domestic engineer of the household. Full-time primary residential caregiver. I also had to take control of the finances at this point, as her issues had worsened to the point that she couldn't be trusted with money. Everything was taking a back seat to her addiction. Despite the problems with his mother, this was the happiest, most rewarding time of my life! My son had the love and care he deserved, and I knew I was living for something more than love. Something a lot bigger than me.    This was the case until February 26th. While she had frequently been absent from the house at night, what did I care? I had what I wanted. I was raising my son in a proper manner and could keep an eye on him while she had him. That night changed everything though. She called for me to pick her up at my moms, she was to drunk to drive. By the time I got my kid asleep at the neighbors and went to get her it was around two a.m.. When I arrived to pick her up I discovered her in bed with my addict brother. I was attacked by the two of them, as they were high on pills and drunk on liquor. I returned home, gathered our belongings, and went to a family members house. That was the final blow. She had proven to be unreliable and unsafe to my son in every regard.    Now can you imagine, after all that has transpired, the Sullivan county sheriffs department threatened me with kidnapping charges?!?! For taking my son out of an unsafe environment! After trying to communicate over several days with law enforcement, I realized I either had to relinquish my precious son or face additional charges and a larger bond [they said I attacked THEM, charges that were later dismissed by a judge in a court of law]. I reluctantly had my aunt take him to her and my brother, who moved in the day I moved out. I started soliciting bond money [I had been a stay at home dad for nine months with no monetary compensation] to be released from my falsely accused crime and begin the process of retrieving my son in a legal manner.    This is when I first contacted child services. Who in there right mind would let this unstable person have domain over an impressionable young child? Sullivan County child services, that's who. I called the case manager daily to provide her with all the information she needed to make her case and save my child. I was met with snide remarks and hostility. Mocking tones of voice. The neighbors witnessed the "home visit" by child services. It was fifteen minutes long, and consisted of looking in the pantry and refrigerator. I went to their office and spoke to the supervisor. She would not speak to me privately, only a brief encounter in a crowded area. She just did not have the time to spare! To busy with important matters, I assume. She divulged, with a measured amount of sarcasm, that more people than just I had called in. This seemed to offend these people, judging by the way I was engaged. The paralinguistic were undeniable. People who knew us were concerned about the welfare of the boy since I was gone and my addict brother was living there, but the people trusted and paid to ensure the safety of my son were not! A travesty. I realized then only a lawyer and a court of law could bring justice to my son and I. These people were bias and inefficient. It was a mistake to have involved them.    On our first court date, the case manager I had asked to be removed from the case was there. She spoke well of the child's mother in court, and afterwards they laughed and gallivanted around the halls of the courthouse like old friends. She even walked her to her car and opened the door for her! How professional! This case manager also "advised" her to get an order of protection served against me, to ensure I would never get custody of my son[this came from the mothers mouth in the middle of a conversation I would title " I will do whatever I want, everyone on my side and you don't have a chance"] It was dismissed as well, a waste of taxpayers money. They also "advised" her not to let me see my son. Not to let me see my son! Not to let my son see me is what it really is. They had took on a lawyer like role for the mother! Are they here to advocate children or mothers? I would never have believed such a thing could be true, but it is what it is. That is grounds for parental unfitness by law in the first instance; to deprive a child of a parent and unwillingness to foster a healthy relationship between them. In my opinion this was especially heinous considering the strong emotional ties and close relationship I had with my son every day of his life since birth. These monsters were not so merciful. They began to keep my son and I apart on march 30th, 2009. She changed her phone number and quit her job. Her and my brother moved with my son to whereabouts unknown.    On may 1st, we had a second court date. There was a different case manager this time. This one did not veil her contempt for me. The look in her eyes was something akin to hatred! Even a dog knows when scorn is being projected its way, especially on such a radical level. Chilling, but not discouraging when you are in the right. The mother tricked me into thinking we had come to terms on a custody arrangement fair to Lucas [my precious son]. Desperate to see him, and already on my third court appointed lawyer [the first two didn't want the case for some reason, and the third and final one, I tried to get another one when I realized he was incompetent and could not, never having a case before; a stacked deck?] I didn't go to trial that day. We agreed to meet to formulate a parenting plan. As soon as we walked out of the courtroom doors the withholding of my son began again. What a dirty trick! Cold blooded.    Of course, she had no plans of formulating a parenting plan. After a few weeks and a thousand phone calls to my lawyer, I convinced him to let me come to his house and draft a petition with his law books. Yes, you read that right. It was filed on June 4th. My sons birthday and fathers day came and went. I wondered who could possibly be at his party? All the family he has is my family, and none of them were contacted. Her, her mother[who he hardly knows at all], and my brother[who hates kids and loves drugs]? What kind of sick facade would that have been? My poor son!    A less determined man would have been intimidated by now, and probably would have given up. No wonder so many fathers are absent from their children's lives! So far, I have been ostracized and discriminated against at every turn. Fortunately, only the judge has the final say over this matter. May he be a wise and fair judge. If you are a person who prays, please pray for us. Our new court date is July 1st, 2009.

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